


Don't Believe In Miracles

by Pline



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Danny, Hurt Danny "Danno" Williams, Loosely Inspired by Fringe, M/M, Mutual Pining, Ohana, Protective Steve McGarrett, Science Experiments, Science Fiction Elements, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pline/pseuds/Pline
Summary: After Danny's been experimented on by a mad scientist who calls himself the Miracle Doctor, he can feel something is different with him. Something is wrong.He starts developing  abilities.  Powers. Things he's only ever seen in science fiction movies. And this is bad, because he can't control them, he's unstable.But pushing his friends away, pushing Steve away, proves to be difficult when they refuse to leave him be.





	1. Watch Your World Crumble

As he stands, gearing up in silence with Chin and Kono by his side, Steve is grateful once more for the training he’s had. Otherwise, he does not think he could have been as focused as he is right now, knowing his partner is held captive in the abandoned clinic they are about to storm into.

Danny has been gone for almost sixteen hours. They didn’t even know he had been taken until ten hours ago, when Steve had called him but got straight to voice mail, again and again. He’d decided to check on him himself, only to find the place empty, his friend’s phone, gun and badge still there. If it hadn’t been enough to send all kind of alarms in his mind, the clear signs of struggle and the bloody stains on the carpet finished sending him in a frenzy.

Nathan Avett. The Miracle Doctor.

A med school drop-out with illusions of grandeur who abducts junkies and prostitutes to conduct experiments on them. The Governor had wanted 5-0 on the case when it had been realized that they were dealing with a very prolific serial killer.

And now he has Danny.

Finding where Avett is hiding hasn’t been easy, the man is instable, delusional and paranoid. But they did it. There is a slight chance they are wrong and they will need to continue searching, but Steve refuses to think about that.

They make no noise as they enter the building, it’s just a four-story building but there are too many rooms for their liking, there are too many places where Danny could be. And of course, Steve refused to wait for back-up.

“First floor is clear, boss.”

Steve nods, mouth set tight.

The heavy silence of the clinic is broken by the anguished cries of a man, agonizing and loud, oh so very loud, voice hoarse and aching.

“Danny!”

There is no doubt about who those screams belong to, and the three of them run towards the noise. They are led to an old operating room, covered with dust and smelling musty. Danny is strapped down to the operating table, he’s been stripped of his shirt, and he has an IV attached to his arm with a golden liquid dropping in his veins.

But what makes them come to a halt when they enter the room is Danny himself, writhing in agony. His eyes are closed, his mouth open on a never-ending scream.

It takes Steve a very long second to shake himself from his shock.

“Call an ambulance!”

Chin runs looking for the Miracle Doctor, Kono calls 911.

“Danny,” Steve says, trying to calm down his still screaming partner, “it’s okay, we’re here, you’re gonna be okay.”

That seems to catch Danny’s attention.

“Steve?” he whimpers, panting and squirming.

“Yeah, it’s me, I’m here. You’re safe.”

“No, Steve please, I can’t.”

His entire body is shaking, he looks in so much pain and Steve wishes he knew how to make it stop, the only thing he can do is untie him and wait for the ambulance to arrive.

“It’s gonna be okay, Danno,” he promises, “the medics are almost here.”

“No! You don’t understand. I can’t. I can’t.”

Danny stars screaming again, his now free hands pressed to his head, his eyes shut, Steve watches helplessly as his best friend suffers before him.

“Steve,” Danny cries out, “Steve kill me. Please kill me.”

“Danny, no.”

Desperate blue eyes meet his. There are only pain and misery in them.

“I can’t, please, _please_ , Steve, I’m begging you. Kill me. Just kill me.”

Steve has faced many gruesome situations, but never has he been this frightened before. Danny, the strongest person he’s ever met, begging him to kill him. How is this possible? How is this real? This can’t be happening. The screams, the prayers of death, none of this can be real. 

Danny suddenly stops his chanting, his body jolts out and, for a few frightening seconds, he doesn’t move at all, his back forms an almost perfect arc, he is as tense as rock, and then, just as the paramedics enter the room, he starts convulsing. 

“Sir, get out of the way!” someone screams at him, but everything sounds far away, it’s like it’s happening in a dream, a dreadful one, the worst kind of nightmare, and he stands there, confused, powerless. 

He watches Danny having a seizure, who remains unaware of the people rushing around him, trying to keep him alive.

He follows them to the hospital – of course he does, what else would he do – and it still feels unreal, still feels like it’s not really happening, he watches them taking Danny to a room, and a nurse tells him no, he can’t come too, he has to wait out there.

How is this real? How is this happening?

He lets Kono take him to the waiting room, and sit him down. His breathing is labored and he can’t see clearly. He might be having a panic attack, but he’s too unfocused to care. Danny’s screams are still ringing in his ears.

_Kill me. Steve, please, I’m begging you. Kill me. Kill me!_

Seeing his partner like that has shaken him to his core. For all the shit he has given Danny for always being bothered for the slightest things, he has never doubted the man’s true strength. Danny is a rock. He is unbreakable.

_Kill me!_

“Steve, you need to breathe,” he hears Kono say, but it sounds far away, like he’s underwater, he’s drowning in his own thoughts.

“Please, Steve. Danny needs you to be strong right now.”

Deep breaths. He can do this. For Danny. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Slowly. In and out. 

Once he feels less like he is about to burst, he smiles at Kono. It’s a sad excuse of a smile, distressed and shaky, but it will do for now. 

* * *

 

 

“Family of Daniel Williams?"

Steve, Kono and Chin rush up to the doctor, a flood of questions leaving their lips before they are even in front of her. They stop when she raises her hand, a bit sheepish but not sorry.

“I’m Doctor Palakiko. Detective Williams is fine for now. We don’t know what he was injected him, or what caused such a severe reaction. We have tested it for any types of known drugs, but nothing came up so far. We have sent it to the CDC in Atlanta, and we’re waiting for their results.”

“What about Danny?” Steve asks.

“He’s asleep,” she answers. “We had to sedate him because we were afraid he might have a stroke. The seizure stopped before he was admitted into the hospital, but he was screaming and in terrible pain. There’s not much we can do until we know what he was injected with, we don’t want to worsen his situation by treating him incorrectly.”

“So what? We just wait?”

“Yes, sir, we do. We will see how he is when he wakes up, maybe he’ll be able to tell us about the drug. I was told you were Five-0, I suggest you find the person who did this and ask them about a treatment, because we cannot do much for your colleague right now. I’m sorry.”

The news is brutal, and Steve feels like all the air has been punched out of his lungs. Still, he forces the question out: “Can I see him?”

“Yes, but you will have to let him rest. I’ll have a nurse tell you his room number.”

“Of course, Doctor. Thank you.”

Once she’s left, Steve turns to Chin and Kono, unsure of what to do. He knows what he wants to do, what he needs to do – he needs to make sure Danny is still alive, still breathing – but Avett is in the wind and they need to catch him, make him confess whatever he’s done to their friend.

“It’s okay boss,we’ll take care of Avett, go see Danny,” Chin says,as if reading his mind.

“Call me whenever you’ve got something.”

“And tell us when he wakes up,” Kono adds.

 

* * *

Danny is unmoving, pale and weak under the hospital sheet.

Steve is exhausted after spending hours chasing after any lead on his partner’s location, and then the adrenaline wearing off, but he can’t sleep. He refuses to leave Danny’s side, and he does nothing but stare at his sleeping form.

A nurse takes pity of him and brings him a bottle of water and a blueberry muffin. He thanks her with a tired smile, and drinks half the bottle, but lets the pastry untouched.

It’s not until the next morning that Danny wakes up.

Despite his best attempt at staying alert, Steve is nodding off. He is startled by Danny’s voice calling his name.

“Hey, Danno, how you doing?” Steve asks, relief evident on his face.

Danny appears okay. He is not screaming, or begging Steve to kill him, but he looks drained.

“I’m beat,” he says. “Gosh my throat hurts, can you give me some water?”

After he’s drunk the water Steve gives him, Danny sighs.

“My head is killing me. What happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Would I be asking if I did?”

Steve can’t help but smile. If Danny is bitching, then things will be alright, he has to believe that.

“You got taken by Nathan Avett, we found you in an abandoned clinic. He’d been injecting you with something, but we don’t know what yet.”

The heart monitor suddenly beeps loudly.

“Hey, it’s okay, we got you, Danno.”

The look of panic on Danny’s face makes Steve’s own heart stop. The machine is still going wild.

“Steve, I don’t know what he did to me.”

Two nurses burst in the room, “You need to calm down, sir.”

Steve is thrust to the side as nurses and soon Doctor Palakiko as well try to calm Danny.

“I don’t know what he did to me,” Danny shouts. “He did something to me. What did he do? I don’t feel normal, something has changed. I’m not fine, something is wrong. What did he do to me?”

Right as he screams the last sentence, several things happen at once. The door bangs loudly, the lights flicker, and Danny passes out, collapsing on the bed.

The silence that follows is eerie,  and Steve takes it upon himself to break it.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know, Commander, I truly don’t know.”

 

* * *

 

Danny spends three days at the hospital.

When he wakes up for the second time, he has  no  recollection of  his  fit.  About his time with the self-named Miracle Doctor, he cannot say much.

“ _He said he wanted to make me a new man. He was rambling a lot, talking to himself. He kept saying he was doing me a favor, that I’d be thanking him soon enough.”_

Avett is still nowhere to be found.

The doctors cannot explain what happened to Danny. He keeps complaining about headaches, but the MRI shows nothing wrong. The CDC has nothing to say about the drug, except that they’ve never seen anything like it and don’t know what it could be used to, and that they need to do some more tests.

On day three, Danny is released.

“ _Are you sure it’s safe to release him? We still don’t know what provoked the seizure or why he has these headaches.”_

“ _Commander, you’re right. We don’t know. But what we do know is that Detective Williams appears to be in relative good health. The best biochemists in the world are looking at the drug, we’ll know more rapidly, I assure you. For now, there is no point in keeping him here. I understand you’re worried, but this wouldn’t be good for him anyway. Of course, he’ll need to stay with someone in case anything happens, but other than that, there’s little we can do.”_

And that’s how Steve gets Danny to move in with him for a few weeks.

“Why did I agree to this?” Danny mumbles that night after Steve refuses to let him drink a beer, in case the alcohol interfered with his medicine.

“I didn’t give you a choice, Danno.”

“Right. Why did I even ask? It’s not like you ever give me a choice, because you’re – ” he stops mid-rant, and he grimaces in pain.

“Danno? You okay?”

“Yeah,” Danny answers after a minute, “just these damn migraines.”

Steve hates being helpless, but there’s nothing he can do to help his partner feel better. He wants to hug him tightly, protect him from the world, kiss him until he feels nothing but pleasure. But this wouldn’t be welcome, so he pushes back the traitorous thoughts.

Danny needs his best friend right now, not the guy who has an unrequited crush on him.

“If only we had Avett to tell us what the hell he injected me with.”

“We’ll find him,” Steve promises.

“Babe, it’s been three days. He probably has left Hawaii already and he’ll lay low for a while. We just gotta hope I don’t drop dead meanwhile.”

“Don’t say that.”

The mere idea of Danny dying is enough to make him shiver. He won’t let that happen.

“Stop it with the face, I’m not planning on dying anytime soon. You ain’t getting rid of me that easy.”

Steve’s retort dies on his lips as Danny lets out a moan of pain.

“Danno?”

“Fuck, my head, it’s killing me.”

Both his hands are pressed to his temples, he’s shaking slightly, and it’s so reminiscent of when they found him in the operation room that it makes Steve drop the towel he is holding and run to Danny.

“I knew you should have stayed in the hospital.”

“No!” Danny shouts. “No, I’m not going back.”

“Danny, please, you’re in pain, you need to – ”

“I said no!”

A window explodes right then.

Steve is in front of Danny, ready to fight any intruder before he even realizes what happened. But there are no intruders, the house is silent save from Danny’s heavy breathing.

“What the hell was that?”

Danny chokes behind him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Steve asks.

“Steve, I think I did this.”

“Did what?”

“I think I made the window explode.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will have four chapters, I already started on the second one, and I know what I want in the others. Hopefully, you won't have to wait long before another chapter!
> 
> I hope you liked this and to see you for the next chapter!
> 
> Do you have any theories? Any ideas where this is going?
> 
> See you soon guys :)


	2. The Devil Inside Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I made the window explode."

Steve is wearing the most dumbstruck face Danny has ever seen on his face, and under other circumstances, he would have named the face and made fun of it, but he cannot find the strength to do that right now.

“What do you mean, you think you made the window explode?”

Danny sighs. His head is throbbing but the pain has subdued to a duller ache, and he doesn’t feel like he’s about to collapse at any moment. Still, his entire body is sore and worn.

“Forget it.”

“No, wait. What are you talking about?”

“Nothing. I just need sleep. I’m gonna take a nap.”

He cannot bring himself to fight with Steve right now, and this is not something Steve would accept easily. He tuns, and he thinks he’d be happy if that conversation was never brought up again, but of course Steve stops him, his hand around Danny’s arm, but Danny doesn’t turn around.

“Danny, hang on. You can’t just say that and leave. What do you mean, you made the window explode? Like… Like with your mind?”

Danny breathes out deeply.

“Yes, Steven, with my mind. Can I go now?”

Suddenly, Steve is in front of him, leaving a distance between them. His face is blank but Danny is an expert at reading him. He sees the worry – no, that’s not right. Steve is terrified.

“Danno,” and his voice betrays him. “You cant’ be serious.”

“Do you have have a rational explanation for what just happened? Because I’d really like one right now.”

“Of course there’s a rational explanation, Danny! There always is. You can’t possibly think that you have, what? Psychic powers?”

“I don’t know!” Danny bursts out, flailing his hands around in an anger that only exists to hide his fear. “Okay? I don’t know. I can’t explain how I’m feeling right now. I just – weird things have been happening since I woke up in the hospital that first time.”

“You said you didn’t remember that,” Steve interrupts, frowning.

“I lied! I lied because it was humiliating, because I didn’t wanna talk about it. All of this, it’s beyond me. I felt it. The door banged and the light flickered, and I knew it was me, and then I passed out, but I know. I know what I felt. And just now! You’ve seen it! The window, it just blew up, for no reason at all!”

“Listen to yourself, Danny! This is crazy.”

“I’m not crazy, McGarrett!”

Steve holds up his hands in surrender, “I never said you were. I think you’re tired and in pain and confused. Yes, what just happened was strange, and I can’t explain it, but that doesn’t mean you provoked it.”

“Yeah. Right.”

Danny looks away from Steve’s intense gaze. He needs to get away. His head is killing him again, his brain is on fire, pushing hard against his skull as if about to burst.

“I’m going to take a nap now,” he says.

Steve does not try to hold him this time. It’s both a relief and a disappointment.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He lies awake on the bed of Steve’s guest room.

Despite the exhaustion, he cannot bring himself to relax enough to sleep. He’s tried every technique he knows, breathing exercises, counting sheep, picturing a calming scenery… Nothing works. His brain is alert and his thoughts racing.

He cannot help but dwell on the conversation he’s had with Steve earlier.

He didn’t even try to consider it. He just refused the idea entirely. Obviously it’s a lot to comprehend, but Steve knows Danny better than anyone else, he knows Danny wouldn’t jump to such outlandish conclusion without something tangible to back up his argument. And of course, Steve is worried Danny is losing it, but that doesn’t ease the hurt.

Danny is not crazy. He knows what happened. He wouldn’t be able to explain how, but he knows he made that door bang at the hospital, or the window blow up.

“ _You’ll be reborn, Detective Williams. Your brain will be the most powerful thing on the planet. You should thank me, it’s a gift I’m giving you.”_

Except that it feels more like a curse.

Back in that old operating room, Danny had thought that Avett was insane. How else could he explain the fact that the man called himself the Miracle Doctor? Clearly, this was a sign of dementia.

He had laughed at Avett’s mumblings about the effects the drug, or Cortexiphan as he called it, would have on him.

“ _It will reverse the natural shrinking of the brain. This shrinking is mankind’s worst limitation, it weakens us as we age. From the moment we are born, the shrinking begins, but I found a way to fight it, to cure it. I am unsure of how painful this will be, but when the process is done, you will have abilities beyond imagination.”_

Is this what is happening to him? Is he developing abilities? Powers? Gosh, this should sound insane, he should not even wonder about it. Yet, there he is, seriously considering the fact that he might be becoming some sort of mutant.

Danny probably should have told all that to his team, and the doctor, but he couldn’t. It would have made it real, and it’s not something he wanted to face. He doesn’t have a choice anymore.

He feels so weary he could cry. His head is hurting him, it never really stops, it just eases up before coming back full force, worse and worse each time.

He’s downplayed his symptoms to the doctor, and his friends, so that he could get out of the oppressive atmosphere of the hospital. Being in there reminded him too much of being tied down and experimented on in an abandoned clinic. It’s been empty for almost two years, but the distinctive smell – sharp and bitter – had stuck, Danny could smell it under the must and humidity.

The various doctors that checked on him could not find the reason for his migraines, the MRI only showed unusual brain activity they could not explain. Staying would have been useless anyway. This is not something normal science can explain.

Another wave of pain hits him and he scrambles to sit up. When will it stop? Can he make it stop? Will he ever go back to his normal self?

He does not even know what to think about the abilities he may or may not be developing. If it is true, and he is able to make things explode or move them with his mind, what else can he do? He cannot control it. Twice, it happened, and twice he wasn’t even aware of what he was doing until it was too late.

It’s like he has a choice. When the pain becomes too much, he has to release some of it, and that translates by explosions or flickering lights.

It hits him then.

He is dangerous. He is a threat to anyone around him. He has no idea of how much he could do, and he could hurt someone. He could hurt _Grace._

Danny jolts from the bed.

He has to get away. He has to protect his family, his friends, from himself.

It’s dark outside, and Danny has heard Steve go to his room hours ago, hovering at Danny’s door for a few minutes before going away. He doesn’t bother to take his phone, he will take minimum risks to be found. His team will probably hunt him down anyway, but he won’t make it easy on them. He’ll take a cab, pay in cash, hide his face from the camera, avoid the cops. He has to put some distance.

He hesitates and then decides to leave a note to Steve. It won’t be enough to get him off his back, but at least he won’t think Danny has been taken again.

The thought of leaving Hawaii crosses his mind, but he can’t bear the idea of leaving his daughter behind. So he goes to the only place they won’t come looking for him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The abandoned clinic is as quiet as he remembers.

He finds himself back in the operating room where he was held for hours. He almost expects to find Avett waiting for him, not smug but impatient to know the results of his experiment. But the room is empty. He is not sure how he feels about that. Should he be relieved that he won’t have to face the man that has been haunting his nightmares? Or should he be terrified at the idea that he may not ever get the answers he craves?

He stands at the door, watching the bed he was strapped down to, he tries to forget the memories that threaten to overwhelm him: the panic, the agony, the powerlessness. It was stupid to come here. He is not going to get any answers in an empty building. He’s lost in a way he hasn’t felt since he was a child, and he wishes his mom was with him, to hold him like when he was kid. It had seemed then she knew everything, that she could solve any problem.

He laughs bitterly, and how crazy must that look, a man sitting alone in an abandoned building, laughing at himself.

How did this become his life?

His head is throbbing and he groans in pain. Fuck Avett, he thinks with renewed hatred. It’s all his fault he has to run from those closest to him, he’s the one who made him a monster. Because that’s what he is: a monster. No one should be able to do what he can do, it’s not human. It’s not right.

It takes him a minute to realize he is not shaking but that the floor is trembling with the force of his anger. He doesn’t know how he is sure of it, but Danny is certain that if he’d focus, he could bring the whole building down without breaking a sweat.

The realization makes him fall to his knees. He pinches himself, hard, but this is real, this is actually happening and he cannot do anything to stop it.

“Why?” he screams at the empty room. “Why me? Why did I do to deserve this?”

Silence is the only answer he gets.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He’s slouched against the damn bed, sitting on the floor and facing the door when they find him. It must have been three hours at most since he left Steve’s house. He shouldn’t have underestimated his team, after all he knows how resourceful they are.

They have their hands on their holsters, guns not drawn, and they do not relax at the sight of him, defeated and broken in the place where he was tortured.

“Danno,” Steve breathes out. “Are you okay?”

“How did you find me so fast?” he asks instead of answering.

“Are you okay?” Steve repeats stubbornly.

Danny lets out a humorless laugh, “I’m great Steven, just peachy. How about you?”

“Why did you leave, brah?” Chin asks before Steve can add anything else. “You scared the hell out of us.”

Danny shrugs, looks away. They won’t understand, and for all the words he has, he cannot find the right ones to explain it to them. The only thing he wants is to go to sleep and wakes up to find that everything has been a bad dream. He does not want to explain it to them, they’d only think he’s lost it, like Steve did.

“Come on,” Kono says with a smile that looks forced. “Let’s get out of here.”

Danny shakes his head, “No. You go, I’ll stay.”

“Danno, stop this. Just come with us.”

“I said no. You don’t get it, this is for your own good. No, _please_ , just leave.”

Steve visibly shudders at Danny’s pleading, but an instant later his face has gone from distressed to determined. He takes a step towards Danny but Danny pushes himself up, screaming, “No! Stay away from me!”

It makes them all halt. The three of them look at Danny whose ragged breathing is the only thing that disturbs the heavy silence that has settled between them. It doesn’t take a detective to see their concern and incomprehension, and it makes something inside Danny break, because he’s never deserved them and now they’ll suffer from whatever will happen to him.

“Stop looking at me like that! Just go!”

“How can you say that?” Steve says, angry and pained at the same time. “You’re coming with us, whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone.”

“You don’t understand. For God’s sake, you don’t even listen to me. Avett’s little drug, it’s changed me. He warned me about it, but I didn’t want to believe, and now it’s happening and I can’t stop it.”

“What did he tell you?” Chin asks. _What didn’t you tell us?_ Danny hears.

“He said I’ll be reborn, that the drug would reverse the natural shrinking of the brain. He called it Cortexiphan. He said I’ll be different, and I _am_. I’ve changed already.”

“Changed how?”

Danny huffs, his migraine is going worse than ever, and he grits through his teeth:

“You wouldn’t get it. But I’m telling you, you need to leave me alone. You need to go. I can’t be trusted right now.”

“We’re not letting you here,” Steve says and it’s undoubtedly an order. “You’re going back to the hospital.”

Danny falters and he moans, and that’s when all hell breaks loose.

Steve, Chin and Kono all make a move to steady him, hands outstretched towards him, and panic overwhelms him, no they can’t come near him, he’s dangerous, he could hurt them, no, they need to get away, and he shouts at them to leave, and the bed behind him, the bed he’s been tied to by the Miracle Doctor, the bed flies up in the air, stays immobile for a very long second, and then goes crashing loudly against the wall.

Someone screams, it might be him but Danny’s not sure, and then nothing. The silence is deafening and heavy, and they stand, stunned, confused, until Danny makes a broken noise.

“I’m sorry,” he says, voice small, head low, and eyes close to hold back his tears. “I didn’t mean to.”

“O-Okay,” Kono says. “This just happened. You, hm, you saw it too guys? I didn’t make it up?”

“No, we saw it too,” Chin confirms, awed.

“I’m sorry,” Danny repeats, if only teleportation was among his new tricks, he would have transported himself to the North Pole where he wouldn’t have had to face the shocked faces of his friends.

“You were right,” Steve blurts out. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you out like this, I should have tried to listen to you, I should have – ”

“Steven, stop it. It’s okay, you couldn't have known. Will you, all of you, go now? You see how dangerous I am, just leave.”

“No way.”

“Guys, I can’t control it. Only Avett could help me, and we have no idea where he is. I shouldn’t be around anyone right now. I could hurt you.”

Steve takes a step towards Danny, slowly as if he were a wild animal about to run away, but Danny is too tired to protest. Seeing this, Steve closes the distance between them and puts his arms around him to hug him. Danny sags against him, breathing in the smell that is just so _Steve_ , and he already feels better.

It’s ironic how much someone as deadly as the SEAL is can always bring Danny to calm down. Maybe it’s because Danny trusts him so much, or because he knows almost everything about him, or maybe it’s because Danny is in love with him, but for the first time since Nathan Avett took him from his home, he feels almost at peace.

“Let’s go home, Danno,” Steve whispers.

“Steve,” and he pushes him away even if it breaks his heart, “you’ve seen what I can do. This is for your own good.”

“Not happening, brah,” Chin says firmly. “We’re not letting you down, especially right now. You need us.”

“I could hurt you.”

“Danny, stop it,” Kono speaks up, she still looks shaken but also decided. “You’ve been here for three years now, and you still don’t get the meaning of Ohana?”

“I can’t ask you to help me with that, this is way too much and too dangerous.”

“Then it’s good you don’t have to ask,” Steve says with a smug smile. “Let’s go before someone tries to see what all the noise was about.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m not going to the hospital,” Danny says when they’re all Steve’s truck. “No one can know. I don’t wanna be taken by some men in black and tested on.”

“But we need to have a doctor look at you, don’t think I haven’t noticed your migraines have gotten worse.”

“We can’t take that chance, it’s too risky,” Kono protests. “Danny’s right, someone might decide they want to test him or something.”

“Max,” Chin says. “We can trust Max.”

“Let’s not involve everyone and their mother”, Danny says. “This is big, I won’t risk anyone’s safety. You shouldn’t even be helping me.”

“Right, you said that, you’re still helping you.”

Too overwhelmed to know what to say, Danny turns his attention to the road. Why did he ever think he could push them away? They are way too stubborn to let him deal with any of this by himself, and it is both reassuring and frightening. He wants them to be by his side, because he is terrified of himself, but he would never be able to forgive himself if anything happened to them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Later, much later, when the four of them are back at Steve’s house, and they’ve debated again and again the course of action, Danny goes to the lanai to get some air and escape the situation for a while.

“You’re okay?”

Steve is standing next to him, and it’s a proof of how tired Danny is that he hasn’t noticed him until he talked.

“Just thinking.”

“It’ll be okay, Danno. We got your back.”

“I’m sorry I left like this.”

“Yeah, well, I gotta admit, waking up to an empty house with just a note saying _‘I have to go, don’t try to look for me. Tell Grace Danno loves her.’_ wasn’t exactly how I planned for my day to go.”

Danny actually winces at that. It was admittedly not his finest moment.

“Sorry.”

“Just, don’t do it again, alright?”

Steve is looking at him with such earnestness that Danny has to force himself to look away before he does anything stupid, like confess his undying love for the man. Even it it breaks his heart, he has to remind himself that Steve only cares about him as a friend, and it’s enough. It’s gotta be.

“Yeah, Steve, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone everyone who read, commented, left kudos and/or bookmarked it! This means a lot!
> 
> Although I wouldn't mind a few more comments :) it takes a long time to write, and it's kinda frustrating to have so little feedback...
> 
> In any case, see you all soon for the next chapter! I hope you liked this one!


	3. In Despair I Bowed My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tension is thick and the quiet abnormal between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update, but with the holidays, the exams coming up and a terrible case of writer's block, this chapter's been a bit difficult to write. Still, I really wanted to publish another one before 2016 ended, so here we are!
> 
> Thanks everyone for your lovely comments and all the kudos you've left!

They had decided that Max should be let in the secret, so that he be able to monitor Danny’s abilities and the effects they had on his health. No one said anything, but they are all hoping these abilities will vanish with time.

Chin had the idea of taking their tests to a remote place in order not to attract unwanted attention from noisy neighbors.

The he sun has barely broken out the horizon line, but Kamekona is already waiting for them, outside his front door. He looks grim, they haven’t taken any chance of telling too much over the phone, but it had been enough to make him understand something was going on.

Danny had protested vehemently – or rather as vehemently as he dared, which wasn’t much compared to his usual temperament – but Steve and the two cousins could not be persuaded to change their minds.

Max arrives at the same time as them. He would look as undisturbed as ever for anyone who didn’t know him as well as they do, but there’s no mistaking the intrigued gleam in his eyes and the tight set of his mouth.

“Aloha, Five-0. What can your humble servant can do for you today?” Kamekona asks with a smile that doesn’t look quite true.

“Guys,” Danny says abruptly, “this isn’t a good idea. We should go.”

“Danny,” Steve says with a sigh. “We’ve had this conversation about a million times already.”

“This is too dangerous, why do you keep refusing to get that? This is not some gun fight you can get into and hope it’ll all be fine, because you’re Rambo or whatever. You have no control over this and – ”

“We don’t have any other choice,” Kono snaps. She too is tired, like them she has slept only a few hours, if at all.

“We could always go back to my plan and leave right n – ”

“What plan, Danny?” Steve interrupts, his arms flailing in a pale imitation of Danny’s attitude. “The plan where you become a hermit and hope your situation resolves itself? And what when it doesn’t? You go live in Alaska, never see Grace again?”

“Don’t you bring Grace into this,” Danny hisses and the air around them suddenly feels too heavy.

“Danny, calm down,” Chin says and he puts a calming hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Danny stumbles back, face ashen. He shuts his mouth and his teeth clack loudly in the tensed silence.

“Detective Williams, if I may,” Max says, taking advantage of the lull in the exchange. “I believe we should make the choice ourselves.”

“Let’s get inside,” Kamekona offers. “I’ll make some coffee, looks like we’re gonna need lots of it.”

 

* * *

 

 

The tension is thick and the quiet abnormal between them. Steve keeps his focus on Danny who hasn’t uttered a word since Grace has been brought up. At Steve’s, late into the night, as Five-0 were debating what to do, Danny had announced that he refused to see her until he could get a hold of his powers. He would not endanger her, especially not by his own doing, and it is eating at him.

Grace is Danny’s raison d’être. Not being able to see her everyday has always been hard on him, but knowing there may be a risk he won’t see her for weeks, months, has been the last straw.

Ever since, he’s been withdrawn and practically mute, lost in thought or in pain. Even Steve hasn’t been able to shake him from his somber mood.

“So, what’s going on?” Kamekona asks once he has set the coffee on the table.

Steve, Chin and Kono exchange looks, Danny stubbornly stares at the wall behind Max.

“Before we tell you anything,” Steve starts, “you have to understand that what we’re about to tell you is hard to accept.”

Danny snorts humorlessly but remains silent. The tension only grows thicker. Kamekona isn’t smiling, rather serious and focused. Max is listening attentively, his gaze unwavering and fixed on Danny.

“More than that,” Chin continues, unperturbed, “this could be dangerous and we don’t know much about what we’re facing.”

“I’m in,” Kamekona announces simply.

“Man, this – ”

“I am in,” he repeats. “Something is up with Jersey, right? Oh, don’t look at me like that, it doesn’t take a genius to see that. Anything I can do to help my little friend. It’s what Ohana’s for.”

“I will help as well,” Max pitches in and he nods to himself.

“So that’s settled then!” Kono exclaims, forcefully cheerful.

Suddenly, Danny gets up from his chair, opens his mouth, surely in a protest but then he just shakes his head and gets out.

“What’s wrong with Jersey, then?”

 

* * *

 

Steve finds Danny on the hood of one of Kamekona’s old rusty car. The bags under his eyes are a deep purple, almost black, and they strikingly resemble bruises. He looks sick and old, and Steve can barely remember the Danny from before the Miracle Doctor. It feels like an lifetime ago since he last saw Danny waving his hands, shouting his love and affection disguised behind sarcasm. 

Where did that Danny go? The man in front of him is but a shadow of the man Steve has known for years, the man he’s been in love with for almost as long.

“Hey,” Steve says softly.

“Hey,” Danny whispers back.

“How you feeling?”

“How do you think?”

Helplessness is a feeling Steve has always hated. He is a man of action, he has to do something, anything, to help. Knowing that there is nothing he can do, that he can only stand by and at best let others do their work, has always been difficult.

Right now, he cannot do much for Danny except showing him support, and even that is not easy. Avett is still in the wind despite the entire HPD searching actively for him, there is only a slight chance that the so-called Doctor has left the island. Still, they have not found him, and so the questions they all have about Danny’s _condition_ are left unanswered.

“We’ll find a solution, Danny,” Steve offers. He knows it, he does not know what yet, but there is no chance that he’ll let his friend face this by himself. No matter what, Steve will stand by Danny, he is never letting him go.

“Right.”

“We will,” he promises.

Danny shrugs. “So what did they say?” he asks.

“They’ll help, as they said they would,” Steve says with a certain amount of pride, the family he has chosen for himself in Hawaii will never cease to amaze him. They are all different but they work, and most importantly, they all care deeply for one another, every one of them is ready to sacrifice so much for the others. It’s not something he expected to find outside of the army, but he is so glad to have been wrong about that.

“They shouldn’t,” Danny mutters, a deep frown set on his face.

“Danny, stop it. They will, they _are._ They understand the implications of what they’re doing.”

“Do they? Do they really?” Danny gets up from the hood as he talks, but Steve is not duped. He knows Danny is holding himself back, hard. “This isn’t just about what I could do, and I could do a lot. What if the CDC understands what’s happening to me? What if they decide to put me in a little windowless room somewhere and decide to experiment on me? What if someone else learned about my little tricks, huh? They could turn me into a weapon! They’d only have to threaten Grace, or you, or anyone else I give a damn about and I’d be their little monster pet!”

Steve has thought of all this before. It has kept him awake and pacing since he saw what Danny was capable of.

“I won’t let that happen,” Steve will not have any mercy for anyone who tries to hurt the people he loves, especially Danny.

“I know you’ll do everything you can to protect us,” Danny says with a sigh, but Steve can read the fondness in his voice. “But you can’t protect us from everything.”

“Still gonna try,” he says, sounding a bit too much like a petulant child to his own ears. “Anyway. Come on, Max is probably back with the equipment by now.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Do I even know how you got all this?”

Max has indeed come back and he has brought with him heavy machines that Kamekona is helping him set up, machines that consist of a vital sign monitor, a portable ultrasound machine and a defibrillator, as well as other things that Steve cannot identify.

“It does not matter how I acquired this,” Max says looking quite proud with himself. “We should get started on the tests.”

“Max,” Danny says, slightly worried, “we’re not in a comic book, try to be less gleeful, thank you.”

“Don’t worry, Jersey,” Kamekona says, “We’ve got everything under control.”

“Where are Kono and Chin?” Danny asks, not making any other comment like he usually would.

“They’ve left to follow up a lead on Avett’s location.”

Danny nods and pretends not to appear too hopeful. “Shouldn’t you be at work?” he says to change the topic. “As a matter of a fact, shouldn’t you all be at work right now?”

“Oh, I’m going,” Kamekona says with that big smile of his. “Business waits for no one. Besides, I plan to ask around for the Doctor, see if I can find anything useful.”

“Thanks, man,” Steve gives him a brief hug and a slap on the back.

“Everything for my favorite haoles.”

Despite Danny’s objections, Steve refuses to leave him, and Max has already taken the day off to help them. In less than an hour, all the machines are ready to go, and Danny has been briefed, and the preliminary tests been done.

“My theory is that your abilities are connected to your emotion. So far, they have only manifested when you were under stress, but I believe other strong emotions can activate them.”

Max puts sensors on Danny’s chest, in other circumstances, Steve would probably have had struggle to tear his gaze off his friend’s bare skin, too often hidden behind clothing, but he is too concerned for that. A large T-shirt is put back on soon enough anyway.

“I will not be able to monitor your brainwaves here, so I will focus on observing the physical effects of the use of your powers on your body.

Danny nods, lips tight.

“On a scale from one to ten, please rate your migraine,” Max demands as he takes notes.

“Four.”

“The real number, Danno,” Steve orders not unkindly. They know each other too well to be duped by the other’s lying.

“Seven,” Danny grunts finally. “Maybe an eight.”

Max scribbles something on his notepad, then checks the equipment once again. “Shall we start?”

“Again, not a comic book,” Danny grumbles.

The plan is simple: get Danny to use his abilities, see how it affects his body, try to understand how it works, maybe even stop the process.

The detective stands tall, his back to them. They are outside and the sun shines upon them, it could have been a peaceful scenery if Danny wasn’t so tensed, if the machines did not beep repeatedly.

Minutes pass and no one moves, they barely dare to breathe, they wait, and minutes pass but nothing happens.

“I’m sorry,” Danny lets out, he turns back to them, frustration clear in his expression. “I don’t know how to control it.”

“It’s fine, you can do it,” Steve says. “We’ll take all the time you need.” It’s a promise.

“Try to get back in the mindset you were when you used your powers.”

“Right. ‘Cause I love feeling desperate and freaked out. I mean, who doesn’t?”

“Danno. It’s okay. I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Danny looks at Steve, and for once Steve cannot understand what it means, cannot understand the intensity behind the blue eyes. Then the detective sighs, nods and turns around again so that they can only see half his face.

This time, it takes only a few minutes for something to happen. One of Kamekona’s old car, slowly and with a loud creak, draws away from the ground, higher and higher until it floats, barely moving, three feet in the air.

“Incredible,” Max whispers, his attention is pulled to the machines. “Fascinating,” he adds.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks, holding himself back from getting to his friend.

“Yeah,” Danny’s voice sounds wrecked but amazed at the same time. “My headache’s gone. I feel… I feel invincible.”

He laughs, and the rusty car starts spinning, still very slowly. Steve stares, not at the car, but at Danny who looks more like himself that he did in days. His face is open and he is smiling wildly. He is stunningly beautiful.

“Is this in response to your stress?” Max inquires.

Danny shots a look at Steve before turning his attention back to the car. “Not exactly. The opposite really.”

Steve’s phone rings but Danny does not notice as he moves his hands, making strange gestures in the air that results in the car moving accordingly.

“McGarrett,” he announces when he answers, still a bit breathless.

“Steve,” Kono says urgently which snaps Steve into SEAL mode without a second thought.

“What’s wrong?”

Danny throws him a concerned look and his smile dims a little.

“We found Avett but... Steve, he’s dead. He shot himself when he saw us. There was nothing we could do. He didn’t even let us speak.”

No. Not their only chance at curing Danny.

“Steve?”

“Thanks, Kono, I’ll call you back later.”

He hangs up. His mind is twirling with panicked thoughts, but he needs to calm down. For Danny.

“Commander, is everything alright?” Max asks, worried.

“No.” He exhales sharply. “Avett is dead.”

The car crashes to the ground so forcefully it shatters itself in several pieces.

The smile is gone from Danny’s face and has been replaced by a horrified grimace. He opens his mouth to speak, but no word comes out. Instead, he turns around and walks away, his pace staggering.

“Danny, stop, where are you even going?” Steve cries out, and he runs to his best friend’s side.

“I don’t know! Leave me alone, for fuck’s sake, Steve.”

“No.”

Danny turns back to him, so furious that Steve almost makes a step back, but he stands his ground and holds Danny’s stare.

“Steven. Leave me the fuck alone for a minute, will you?”

“No,” he repeats. “I won’t. Not when you’re like this.”

“And how am I exactly?” he asks, unmoving, fists clenched and eyes burning. “How would you say I am? Let me guess: Angry? Out of my depth? Completely fucking lost?”

“You’re confused and you’re scared, I get it. I do. But you can’t push me, _us,_ out.  We’re going to fix this, we’ll find a way.”

“How? The only person who has the answers is dead, dead Steven! Don’t you get it? It’s over. Everyone goes home, this has been fun and all but Danny is tired now and would very much like to be left alone for one damn minute so he can consider his options!”

“Stop that! We said we weren’t letting you deal with it alone, and we are not abandon – ”

“I can feel the blood pumping through your veins,” Danny interrupts, words pushing through his lips angrily. “I could snap your neck without as much as blinking. I don’t know how I’m certain of this, but I am. I can move things with my freaking mind. The consensus here is that my _powers_ are tied to my emotions, okay, and we both know I’m not particularly good at keeping my emotions in touch. What’s going to happen next time I have a nightmare, huh? Am I gonna blow up the entire neighborhood in my sleep? Or next time we’re in a gun fight? Do I stop the bad guys’ hearts with my thoughts?”

“Danny, we _can_ fix this,” Steve says again, as much as a reassurance for Danny as for himself.

“No. No we can’t. I can’t be allowed in the field. I am dangerous. I know it, you know it, let’s accept this once and for all. I can’t go near Grace because I could hurt her. What am I supposed to do? What do I have left if not my job and my daughter?”

“Me. You’ve got me,” Steve says, desperately. Danny needs to see how needed he is, he cannot give up, not now, not ever. Not again. “You’ve got the team.”

“I could hurt you too.”

“I don’t care.”

And it’s true. Steve does not care because being with Danny is more important than his own well-being.

“You’ll learn how to control them,” he continues and he comes closer to Danny, so close they are almost touching. “You’ll control your emotions. You were in control with the car just two minutes ago. Plus, we can still find Avett’s research on the Cortexiphan, the CDC might get results that will help. Max will find a solution. Anything, I don’t care, but I am _not_ letting you down.”

Danny’s eyes suddenly look too bright, and so he shuts them and breathes in sharply. Steve takes the time to admire his partner’s tired face, the worry lines that seem more pronounced every day, the way his teeth bit down on his lips, almost drawing blood. Oh, Steve aches to sooth him, to hold him against his heart, protect him from the world.

When Danny opens his eyes at last, Steve’s breathe hitches.

“Why?” Danny whispers, a tiny broken sound that crushes Steve to his core.

“Danny”, the name falls from his lips like a prayer. “I – you know. You know.”

So much he cannot say yet, maybe never will have the courage to do so.

_You changed me. I can’t resist you. You make me want to be a better man. I am nothing without you. I have never been more alive than when you’re here. I need you. I love you._

They are standing close, their hands brush together with every breathe they take. The air is heavy, but not the same heaviness that comes with Danny using his new-found powers. No, the air around them is intense, it’s like they’re in their own little pocket of existence. The world has ceased to exist around them. The only thing Steve is aware of is Danny, and his bright blue eyes, his blond almost golden hair, his smell, enchanting, unique, his warmth. Danny is real, alive, in front of him, and that’s all that matters in that instant.

“I – ” Danny starts but does not continue.

Steve’s gaze falls to Danny’s lips, just for a fraction of a second, but as soon as he does it, he knows it’s too late. He cannot take it back.

Danny’s eyes are wide open, his mouth forming a perfect ‘o’.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, and it’s a confession that will change everything.

This time he is the one to turns around.

Danny does not stop him.

Steve pretends it does not hurt, but he has never been really good at lying to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I hope you liked it! So, what did you think? We'll have Danny's pov next chapter, so we'll know why he didn't hold Steve back...
> 
> I had planned four chapters for this story, but I'm thinking this may not be enough... I guess we'll see!
> 
> Also, for anyone who has watched Fringe, did you catch the references? Mainly the Cortexiphan and its effects (adapted for the story, but still).
> 
> Thanks again for reading, I wish you a happy 2017! And if you want to make your local writer happy, I love comments ;)


End file.
